So tonight is my last “official” night on the bar at Two Boots Brooklyn. I came to know and love Two Boots early on in my adjustment to the rat race that is NYC living. I had worked in a restaurant or bar off and on since I was 18, so I had no problem landing the job in a competitive market just a few weeks after we’d unpacked our boxes.
Since I began, however, Elisa balked at the long hours and late nights. She knew the generous compensation for two nights of work would ultimately hold me back from taking bigger risks. And in many ways, I knew she was right, but still I wasn’t willing to let it go. What other job would allow me the freedom to be creative, publish my book and still pay the bills?
Well, now a little over a year later, the Universe is doing the deciding for me. When I first heard that Two Boots Brooklyn was closing its doors after twenty-five years of service I felt terribly guilty. I mean He/She/It didn’t have to rip the rug from everyone else’s feet just to dole out a singular club to the head, right?
While panic set in for a few, with just three weeks to scramble for something else, I kept the faith that it all happens for a reason. I promised everyone that they’d be fine, better than fine actually, reminding them that change is healthy and we all need a good shaking every once in a while. Like so many times before, my positivity was stifled by the pessimistic and negative hilarity that is the core of restaurant banter. I smiled too. Even with all my gratitude, it is so hard not to laugh at the cynicism–the ultimate gratuity–deeply routed in years of pretending to like people, ie. customer service.
I will admit that yesterday was the first day that I didn’t comb through Craigslist as the month’s end is approaching and I will just be squeaking by. I am leaving a lot up to trust, to chance, to my friend, the Universe, as I move forward.
I can’t promise that I won’t be selling Christmas Trees in a few weeks, but that’s all part of the journey. Besides, there’s something romantic about it. Even David Sedaris was an elf at Macy’s for a stint, and boy did that make for good writing.
I have a Master’s in Education, I have many years experience in Personal Training, and all sorts of other things sprinkled about my resume, but this year isn’t about safety nets. I am boldly, although admittedly vulnerable, stepping into what I believe is my mission. I’ve heard the “calling,” like what I imagine nuns and clergy describe. I don’t exactly know where I’m going or how I’m going to get there, but right now my inclination is to say “yes.”
Yes to the Universe, I hear you barking big dog … now show me the way.
I leave you with this: If you are facing a big change (a breakup, a lay-off, a move, a bad perm), open your heart up to the possibilities rather than fighting that in which we may have little control. Think back, for evidence sake, on all the things that you may have fought before that turned out just fine, or better than fine really. And try to let go to TRUST.
Onward, in faith. Shake it up!