one woman's quest to live the life she's imagined all while daring you to do the same

grateful for hindsight’s 20/20

*Portland, OR 2013

I have weathered many storms that from deep inside the eye seemed like they could only be the imagination of someone or something‘s sick torture. I renounced all potential of a generous God, lacking trust, at the time, in just about everything.

And just as I may have punched a stranger for chirping, “Hindsight is always 20/20!” when I was in the midst of it all, I loathed my brother Jack for inadvertently boasting, “You’re gonna laugh about this in five years,” as my heart sat cold and vacant in my teenage chest.

Of course that black-eyed stranger would have been right and, as much as I hate to admit it, so was my brother, but just as it’s impossible to see your finger as you touch it to the tip of your nose (try it), you must be at a distance from any situation in order to reveal its sound impact.

And then, of course, only if you’re willing to look.

As I wrote I Think I’ll Make ItI had the extraordinary opportunity to gather the evidence of what some might view as a shattered and scattered past. In 2011, when I began writing, I would have been remarkably wealthy if only I’d been given a dime for each utterance of “Everything happens for a reason.” And, by then, I wasn’t just saying it, I embodied it.

Even still, if it wasn’t for that rather intimate walk down memory lane that it took to write my book, I’m not sure that I would have seen the true perfection in each heartbreak, each poorly executed plan, each flat stinkin’ tire. All my unanswered prayers seemingly woven into the most glorious harmonic of hymns.

It is that gathered evidence, that proof that the Universe is conspiring along with me, that I developed and maintain a sincere trust. And when it wavers, as it does when fear and doubt invite themselves in, I simply look back on all the magic that I’ve witnessed and the wavering, however unsubtle, subsides.

I’m also never afraid to seek out more evidence. Is there ever enough, really? I am constantly tuning into the “high five” channel. I am always looking for clues that I’m on the right path. Intuition, like many things, takes nurturing, and I am devout to my time spent within.

I leave you with this: What evidence do you have from your past that would be proof for the case that “Everything happens for a reason?” What situation if any are you not able to see clearly because your finger is still to your nose? What one thing (no matter how big or small) might you be willing to try now that you know the Universe is on your side?

#Onward in gratitude

“All we have seen teaches us to trust a creator for all we have not seen.” – my homeboy, Emerson

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