one woman's quest to live the life she's imagined all while daring you to do the same

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

I love this Seth Godin quote: “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”

I’m motivated by that kinda stuff though. It fires me up.

As I repeatedly find out in my personal life, however, not all people are motivated the same way. Elisa and I are both big athletes as I’m sure you’ve heard me say before. She played ball in college and, although she’s smaller than me, can take me [almost] any day in a push-up challenge.

We were playing frisbee in the park yesterday and I thought she was slacking. I immediately started in on the “What are you out here for?” tactics that fell short of my intention. No sign of change. I continued, “You always talk shit about being a better athlete, well now’s your chance!”

Second fail.

I don’t know why it bothered me so much that she wasn’t trying, but clearly the way I was communicating my frustration was not sending the right signal. Another 10 minutes of a waning frisbee toss went by when I finally stopped and suggested we do some yoga.

Elisa and I suck at doing yoga together; we’re trying to turn over a new leaf. She has an attention span of a gold fish–pointing at puppies as they go by, laughing at kids, while I’m in a whole ‘nother dimension celebrating the sunshine, the blue skies, the light breeze. She’s wiping her knees of grass, fixing her shirt, shifting her ponytail; I remind her that focus is part of the practice.

And that was the needle that broke the camel’s back, or the hay stack or however it goes. We had a small spat that lasted the duration of warrior one. Who fights doing yoga? And then like many of our tiffs, we sighed it out and kept on rolling.

My point is, if the message doesn’t motivate you, find one that will. #tyomd (tweetable)

You wouldn’t have arrived at that message if you weren’t meant to hear it. If you have a response at all, even if it’s anger, frustration, annoyance … something was triggered. It’s important to delve into why?

Do not ignore the messages. Especially if the same few keep showing up for you.

For instance, when meditation was first introduced to me, I wanted no part of it. It seemed way to woo-woo–the ohms, the incense–I couldn’t. Every image of meditation I came across didn’t feel authentic to me. Plus, I wasn’t down with the whole self-righteousness of it, I told myself.

After about the 500th suggestion that I should try it from various sources, I said fine. But no promises. I sought out texts that worked for me. I shopped around for a Pandora station and “thumbs up”-ed my way to a playlist that felt right for me. I didn’t ignore the signs that had become blatant. Instead, I made it work on my terms.

Not to say that I wasn’t pushed to go places that were super uncomfortable, but that happened after I began to develop my own experience of it, which is key.

And now look at me: ohms, incense and all;)

Elisa could have stormed off the field, like previous girlfriends of mine likely would have, but instead, she adjusted the message. She heard what I said and moved on. I learned my lesson too, “Mind your own frickin business! And keep your mouth shut.”

How’s that for a motivational speaker?

I leave you with this: Is there something that keeps coming up that is triggering an averse response in you? Have you checked in with that in a while? How might you be able to frame it to make it more palatable? Give it a whirl. Even if it ends up not your bag, you’ll be better off for trying. Not to mention, those pesky messages for that one thing just might shut up.


Much Love,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: