“First, there’s the notion of “making it” as the start of something, as the entry point to a new life. So often, we dream about the kinds of people we will be after something momentous happens–after we find our life partner or after we get a job. Our future selves are exemplary. They are generous, beautiful, moving, put-together–all of the traits that we hope to embody, after we cross a very visible, but far-off bridge. In contrast, the present is full of the hustle and grind of trying to get there. It’s the before period, a mix of training, part-time work, unpaid projects, near-misses, and frequent existential crises. But what’s preventing us from becoming our shiny future selves now? Why can’t the practice of being generous and moving take us where we want to go instead of serving as the reward? Like one of my mentors once posed, why wait to practice glory?”
–Kelvin Vu -Tumbler
My sister-in-law sent this Tumbler post along last night. It’s ironic because this conversation continues to come up with my clients: the idea of finding happiness outside oneself.
The short of the long list of things that stand between us and our happiness: If it weren’t for the job, or money, if it weren’t for my critical mom, or my friends and coworkers–what would they think?
No matter the angle we take, there always seems to be at least three hurdles between us and our own contentment.
After years and years of making the same excuses of why we’re not happy, I think it’s time we re-evaluate the method.
Yo shit’s broke, son!
The definition of insanity is clearly at play here, because happiness is absolutely available. It doesn’t just happen to the lucky folks. It doesn’t happen to the rich and successful folks, either; we’ve seen how some of those stories end.
Happiness happens to those who nurture it from within. They practice it. Although it becomes easier and easier, they practice the habit of happiness every-frickin-day.
They have no need for blame. They don’t need scapegoats. They don’t sweat the small shit. They don’t let others drag them down.
Instead, they have become gardeners. And perhaps they’ve grown a beautiful garden and some jerk deer comes along and eats it all up, or a chubby bunny, or a flash flood ruins it, or whatever. Sure, it hurts for a minute. Nobody wants to see the fruits of their labor being taken, or floating away, but the essential piece is that the tools to rebuild are not lost. The happy-go-luckies trust, instead, that all will be bigger and better in the end.
And guess what, they’re right!
I leave you with this: Worry, doubt, fear, lack of confidence, indecision, are so last season. Get on the Happy Train, and enjoy the ride;) #tyomd (tweetable)