one woman's quest to live the life she's imagined all while daring you to do the same

I Suck At Relationships and I Can Prove It

Let’s say, for instance, you believe you’re no good at diets, or that you can never keep a new year’s resolution, or that you suck at relationships, or that you you never finish what you started, or __(insert your negative belief(s))___.

Go on. We all have ’em. I’ll give you a minute.

Got one? or seven? Good.

Now, think of your brain as a colander and all the holes are things you don’t believe. We can’t simply process and retain all the 11,000,000 bits of information coming at us every moment. So our brain sorts it for us. Awesome, right?

Well, not if we’re really fishing for evidence to prove us wrong, like: “I don’t look fat in this dress, do I?”

Often we don’t realize how damaging are our negative beliefs. They seem harmless. Funny even in good company, but not when we’re unconsciously seeking the proof to hold steady those often crippling beliefs.

It’s called confirmation bias: the tendency to search for, interpret, or remember information in a way that confirms one’s beliefs. Not the same, but a close cousin of “self fulfilling prophecy.”

I bring this up because I think now’s the time to sort through some of these self sabotaging beliefs. Wouldn’t it be great to start the new year with a fresh like Christmas pine open mind?

In these next few weeks, catch yourself in the act. Listen to yourself, the same broken record. This time though, pick up the needle and lay a new track.

“I hardly recognize all the people I used to be.” I heard that today and it made me laugh. So true.

Gosh, I was such a slave to my self sabotage. Nothing happened overnight, but change did happen, one conscious belief at a time.

I leave you with this:  Once upon a time, I sucked at relationships … but you know what, I’m thinking that’s all just about to change. Try that on for size, will ya?


Much Love,


Kat Hurley is a transformational author, speaker and personal developement coach, making over motivation @The Year of Magical Dreaming. For the full 411, visit, yo!


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