I think the funniest thing about this adventure is just how simple and ordinary everything has come to me–or not come to me–depending on how you look at it. There has been no tights wearing and me swooping in to save people as my ego might have imagined.
One thing I’ve noticed though, that I’m still not sure I’m ready to admit, is although I’ve been keenly aware of others and their possible needs for the past 5 days, my outward presence exudes otherwise. My chunky headphones tuned into this or that audiobook shuts me off in a way to the world around me. Whether I’m willing to believe it or not, I’m half-connected; and to the outside … I’m disconnected.
I “pause” all the time, for a subway performance, to eavesdrop on a sweet conversation between mom and child, to talk to a stranger, but how much am I missing, I wonder.
Am I willing to lose the audiobook altogether, probably not. But am I willing to go without more and more often? Yes.
A mission is a mission, right? Certainly can’t be the light if the inn says “no vacancy.”
Today’s kindness adventure:
Not at all what I would have imagined.
Today I received kindness and allowed someone else to be the giver.
We actually don’t do this enough.
We deflect compliments; we argue to pay a tab when someone else offers; we refuse gifts; basically, we suck at receiving–well, most of us.
I spoke with a friend and client on the subject this afternoon, actually. She mentioned that she doesn’t like to be a burden calling a friend when she’s feeling down.
We know how good it feels to give, and yet we don’t allow others the opportunity to give to us.
I’m reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and he talks about our cultural problem with deflection. He uses the example of golf, but I think we can all relate:
Nice shot, Al.
Nah, I didn’t make full contact.
Beautiful putt, Bob.
It’s about time I got one in. My putting has been horrible all day.
Wow, great approach shot, Bob.
Yeah, I got lucky that time. Even a blind squirrel gets an acorn now and then.
Hendricks talks about opening up to this: Space within us to feel and appreciate good feelings. By extending your ability to feel good feelings, you expand your tolerance for things going well in your life.
This allows us to eliminate the self sabotage when things are going too well and we freak out.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has uttered something like: “Things are awesome recently, thanks for asking. I’m sure I’m just setting myself up for impending doom of some sort soon.”
We think we’re being polite, not wanting to gloat, not wanting to allow someone else to pay or accept a gift, but what we’re actually doing is closing off to abundance energy, not to mention allowing someone else to have their moment being the light.
I got a beautiful compliment from a new reader recently:
One of the best decisions I’ve made in recent weeks, was choosing to get your blog posts sent to me via email. Your writing couldn’t be any more aligned with the emotional and spiritual themes I’m processing if you were actually living inside my mind. What you say resonates with me into my very core. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
In the past, I would have responded, at least mentally: “What? This old thing?” or made the joke about my 4 faithful followers that I’ve now used 100 times.
But in recognizing where I am cut off, I have been practicing. And I can honestly report that her compliment was well received with welcomed and sincere gratitude.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Today I took a class at East Yoga in the Village and there was a guest teacher whom I could feel myself being judgmental of for a split second because she seemed a little timid and the last instructor I’d had there had been so strong. For a moment I’d wished it was he, not she.
Then as class went on, she came around to offer some adjustments. She was so smart and confident in her fixes, I was embarrassed that I’d doubted her even for a second.
She must have realigned me 7 or 8 times, quite a lot for a single class. I was so grateful for her willingness to share her gift. (I’ve taken a lot of yoga and not every teacher is hands on.)
I thanked her as I left and walked out with a big smile. How lucky was I to have shown up for her class? A natural giver of love and light!
I leave you with this: Receive with the same grace as you give.
Kat Hurley is a transformational author, speaker and personal development coach, making over motivation @The Year of Magical Dreaming. For the full 411, visit kathurley.com, yo!