I was so pleased to open an email from one of my clients this morning who decided to come clean: no more bullshit.
How effin brave, huh?
Because let’s be honest, we really are the best bullshitters.
All of us …
“This piece of bread doesn’t count against my new year’s resolution because it’s homemade.” Or, “I’m skipping my workout this morning because it’s raining; I never promised I would workout in the rain!” Oh, come on, one more–this is fun;) “A cigar is not in fact a cigarette, and this is a special occasion.”
All that said, coming clean take a lot of guts.
So does showing up for yourself, and sometimes it’s hard to know whether showing up for yourself is mac and cheese or hot yoga. I get it.
I love the “how do I want to feel after?” question. Because how do I want to feel in the moment just doesn’t suffice.
It’s the pause we offer to check in with our higher self that makes all the difference.
When we’re living by default, we don’t pause enough to think–do i really want/need this? Everything then is set off by automatic responses and old patterns.
You will have already dialed take-out or slept through your alarm before you know what hit you.
That’s when you need ammo like: Breaking the habit of being yourself: Think Greater than Your Environment This is my homeboy, Dr. Joe Dispenza, breaking it down, scientifically.
Basically, it’s not just unlearning you. It is unlearning your response to everything around you. And although it sounds like an insurmountable task, it’s actually much simpler once you realize what you’re really up against.
Besides, we don’t think our way into acting, we act our way into thinking. (My new fave quote.) Tiny, itsy bitsy, purposeful actions that add up over time to a whole new you.
At home, at the bar, at work, out with friends, out with your best friend, out with potential “friend,” out alone, etc. Each is a different environment that offers new challenges. You must decide who you will be before they/the environment decides for you.
It took me six months to quit smoking (mostly) and then six more months to really get it out of my system because I needed to be a non-smoker in every environment possible: wedding, back yard bbq, bar mitzvah, AKA: champagne wasted, beer wasted and mazel tov wasted! (Totally different!)
Patterns that took several years to memorize, do not lift at the snap of our fingers. Even cold turkey comes with a whole lot of fingernail biting. It is work, absolutely. It is deciding over and over and over again, tirelessly, that you can be happier and live a healthier life.
Each time you “fail.” Tweak.
When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. -Confucious
But the process does require honesty. Bare bones, naked ass, honesty.
That too will take a while. Because we disguise lies as excuses, beautifully.
Practice the art of being impeccable with your word.
Because the words we speak become the houses we live in. -Hafiz
And who wants to live on top a foundation of bullshit?
“Not me,” says the flee, “let the fly have that shit.”
I leave you with this: This is a great day to come clean. Drop the facade and call bullshit on you. To your partner, in a journal, to a friend. Wipe the slate clean and start fresh!
Ahhhhhhh! The whole truth, nothing but the truth, never felt so good!
PS … And thank you to my client for being so brave! See what you started;)
Kat Hurley is a transformational author, speaker and personal development coach, making over motivation @The Year of Magical Dreaming. For the full 411, visit kathurley.com, yo!