one woman's quest to live the life she's imagined all while daring you to do the same

Walk A Mile In A Person’s Shame

I can’t think of a better spokesperson for shame, other than my homegirl, Brene Brown, than Monica Lewinsky. (Watch her recent full TED here.)

I’m thrilled she has found her voice and is willing to speak for those who have yet to find theirs, or those who never will get the opportunity because they didn’t survive the humiliation.

Perhaps in a later post, in fairness, I will list all the terrible and terrifying things I did at 22. Yikes!

These points hit home to me:

Online we have a compassion deficit and empathy crisis.

Shame cannot survive empathy. -Brene Brown

Even empathy from one person can make a difference.

We can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders. Instead of bystander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation.

We must speak up with intention, not for attention.

Click with compassion.

You can insist on a different ending to your story.

She brings up some great points here. I have a practice where I’m very conscious of my clicks, but I have to admit that I clicked on Monica’s TED link more as a voyeur than a seeker of insight–the speech title wasn’t even present in the link. My practice is hardly perfect.

I’m mostly conscious of my clicks for two reasons: time management and productivity, as well as not feeding the frenzy energetically (within me and online). I hadn’t even made the connection about advertisers and making money off clicks, duh!

So that’s one practice I will tighten, pronto!

The other: upstanding. I’m really awesome online as the quiet observer. I never want to be too political or get panties all twisted. I am almost 99% successful at keeping my social media accounts positive only.

HOWEVER, it had not occurred to me that I may have been missing opportunities to offer compassion and empathy. And Monica makes a great point here. It takes just a few people to stand up for someone.

I’m all over that.

And lastly, “You can insist on a different ending to your story.” Amen to that, sister.

Despite how bleak it may look behind the veil of shame, we will one day find the legs to stand–through the painful lens of honesty and acceptance–but we will survive, and thrive. It’s up to us.

I leave you with this: Will you be more conscious of your clicks with me, as a practice? What else are you already doing/not doing that you’d like to tweak?


Much Love,


Kat Hurley is a transformational author, inspirational storyteller, and live your dream life coach, making over motivation @The Year of Magical Dreaming. For the full 411, visit, yo!


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