Rationalize: attempt to explain or justify (one’s own or another’s behavior or attitude) with logical, plausible reasons, even if these are not true or appropriate.
Hmmm … sound familiar?
It’s pretty funny how easily we can discern, which actions we are responsible for, and others–nah! Not so much.
I’m reading–for the second time this week–Gary Zukav’s The Seat of the Soul. And, twice, I got a big kick out of his take on responsibility:
If we feed and clothe ourselves through our successful business, we credit ourselves. If we feed and clothe ourselves by burglarizing apartments, we blame our difficult childhood.
So true, right?
The truth of the matter is that we are responsible for all of our actions and reactions no matter how seemingly insignificant or what our excuse.
And we’re good at excuses, boy!
Because in the end, it is us who pays the karmic price. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
“But he did it first!”
I used to love that one.
“He made me do it.”
We have countless excuses, hopefully your repertoire is more creative than mine. Who am I kidding? I got better with age and told many an elaborate rational lie.
But the better I got at the those tall tall tales, the worse I felt. The further I retreated from the truth.
The truth that we are the sum total of our intentions.
“Getting away with life” is hardly a mirror in which I was willing to see my reflection. And with no reflection, who are we exactly?
My intentions were inconsistent to say the least, and therefore so was my focus, my drive, my passion. Skating by, for most of my life, was not the foundation from which I could build much of anything.
I hard to start anew.
And it wasn’t until I got real good and honest with myself, no matter how unfriendly and uncomfortable it felt at first that change began to happen.
No more lies!
When I had less and less to justify, I could see more clearly.
With clarity, I could uncover many of the false beliefs I clung to and finally evict them, for good this time.
Now, I have a fun practice of taking responsibility for myself — extreme style. And not because karma’s watching, but because I’m earnestly invested in my responsibility footprint. A stark contrast from the irresponsible havoc I wreaked till about my quarter-life wake-up.
Coincidence that in recent years my focus, drive and passion have come into alignment with my intentions, I think not.
It’s all connected, baby.
Hit-the-nail-on-the-head obvious once we stop “protecting” ourselves from the truth.
I leave you with this: No more lies. Win every time.
Kat Hurley is a transformational author, speaker and personal development coach, making over motivation @The Year of Magical Dreaming. For the full 411, visit kathurley.com, yo!